“3D Sex and Zen : Extreme Ecstasy”
The Amarus Bamboo Temple on the Condensing Cliff
is the most renowned temple on Emei Mountain
It is especially popular among people from western Sichuan
It is in its incense heyday
The Guanyin Hall on the right houses a Bodhisattva statue
designed by the famous artist wu Daozi
which dates back to 800 years ago
The Guanyin is known to have answered to faithful's prayers positively
Thus, there are countless believers
kneeling and praying to the statue
asking for a son, health
or evil spirits to be warded off
Remember, listen to instructions and be obedient
then you will grow up fast and strong
Understand?
Yes
Are you asking about your family?
Let me figure it out
Okay
we will come back later to repay our gratitude
He really answers our prayers
Go away, go!
Get out!
This is crazy. what's going on?
How dare he blaspheme against Guanyin!
You will be damned by the Gods! Beat him... beat him to death!
This is sacrilegious
The ashes is hot!!
Let's go...
what is true happiness?
Happiness today is the cause of future misery
Future misery is the result of the happiness today
Having said that
I still prefer happiness today
I disagree
Just like the Prince of Ning
who leads a hideously luxurious life
He collects the world's most precious objects and people
But do you think he's happy?
while he gratifies his endless desire
cries of discontent arise among the people
How could he be happy and at ease while his people are suffering?
How can you compare a scumbag like him
to a sophisticated scholar like me?
I won't just let go of this incident
Lin, don't you think we're too young to get married?
we still haven't fooled around enough
I'm sure you'd regret it
If I have a lovely wife
I wouldn't mind to lose some of my freedom
Just go and take a look
You don't have to marry him if you don't like him
I'm not getting married
Master, Mister Lin is waiting in the sitting room
I don't care!
You have to go anyways. Just to see for yourself
Miss, you really have nothing to lose
No, I'm not going
But Mr. Tie is such a square
I'm sure his daughter must be a bore
and your sex life is likely to be...
My dearest Lin, how's your father doing?
He's doing great
This is weiyangsheng, a good friend of mine
He comes to keep me company
Lin, I'm so sorry
My daughter refuses to come out. I haven't brought her up well enough
You made a trip here but I'm afraid you're not meeting her this time
In this case, let's get going. we're actually kind of busy
Come on, let's go. Oh, goodbye then
Master, Miss is on her way out to meet the guests
Now that Miss Tie is here, I guess we should stay a while
Okay
As my daughter lost her mother at an early age
she is spoiled
For matters about herself
she always has to make her own decisions
Dad, I only decide on trivial matters
But marriage is a big thing and of course, I'll leave it to dad
for a woman should comply with the Three Obediences and Four Virtues, right?
My daughter is still not married after all these years
because she is my only kid
And my son-in-law has to marry into our family
The maid is so beautiful. Their first son has to use our surname
such conditions turn many men away
well... but I'm the only son in the family. So were my father and grandfather...
Throughout 7 generations, all my patriarchal ancestors are the only sons in the family
But if I have the honour
to marry a lady like Miss Tie
I don't mind marrying into the Tie's
Okay, I've made up my mind. I'll marry into the Tie's
All my children will bear your last name
I've also made up my mind
Even my grandchildren can bear your last name
But...
I approached Lin's parents first and I have to stick to that
So...
Can I borrow a piece of paper?
Miss, he is really talented
Here's a clumsy painting of mine
I hope Mr. Tie and Miss Tie could give some comments
A picture comes to life with the artist's exquisite strokes
Her eyes watery and sparkling, her lips red
Like a woman straight out of Song Yu's prose poem
Miss Dong next door, showing only her torso above the wall
Dad, I have made up my mind
I will marry no one other than weiyangsheng
And I'll also marry no one other than Miss Tie
well...congratulations...
Lin...
Mr. wei...
Let me introduce a good friend of mine
This is Scholar Shangguan Shun
My good friend weiyangshang
Nice to meet you
You too
Master wants you to see him
Excuse me
They are Mr. and Mrs. Good Fortune
They are in their 90s
and have been happily married for more than 70 years
Master invited them to give you blessings
Mr. and Mrs. Good Fortune
hope you are all well
Good, we will give you a red pocket later
My dear, look at you
you have food all over you
Excuse me
you two have been married for decades
How can you
still be so loving to each other?
I don't know
I just know that I love her very much
And when we say “make love”
you have to make, to have love
I guess...you haven't made love for many years?
How can you still be in love?
It is no big deal not being able to make love
You will understand when time goes by
Shit
The groom and the bride kneel to the Heaven and Earth...
So cool!
wait a minute
My dear, will it hurt?
It will hurt, but it feels extremely awesome
Thank god it didn't hurt. But...
I wouldn't call it awesome either...
I have to admit that there is room for improvement
I guess I need more practice
improvement is absolutely possible
Did you see it?
No. I blinked and it's over
You hate Prince of Ning so much
why do you want me to bring you to the Tower of Rarities?
If I don't go in the tiger's den
how can I collect his crime evidence?
Oh yes, good point...
Your Highness, I brought my best friend here today
I guess you don't need me to explain the rules here, do you?
Before I enter the tower, I have to make a contribution to the collection
I do understand
This is from my father's collection
I know it's not anything near a rarity
It's not hard to find a coral this big
but it's quite rare to see one that big in bright red colour
Bring over a few of those corals
that are to be packed into the store room. Let them take a look
You think a piece of junk of such calibre could get you in the Tower of Rarities?
Now you can pick any one of these rejects
as your compensation
And don't ever come back again, okay?
My ignorance has disgraced myself
I'm in no position to accept any generous gift from your Highness
I'd better get going
I thought I've had a taste of your Highness' collection
But I didn't expect to see a counterfeit hung on the wall as if it's real
This painting has been verified by many connoisseurs
The paper, ink and the brush are all from the Tang Dynasty
even the brushstrokes are signature of wu's
On what grounds do you think it's counterfeit?
Cut open the border
you'd see the painting is made up of two layers of paper
The ingenious thing about this counterfeit is the use of rare ancient paper for tracing
The rice paper on top
was used to trace the brushstrokes of wu
But the backing sheet underneath is Chengxintang paper from the last reign of the Southern Tang kingdom
You'd see plum blossom.shaped watermarks on the backing paper
The two were over two hundred years apart
then how can it be real?
Your insight is a rarity good enough
to get you in the Tower
Thank you
The original from Scholar Yan Zhun xing
This is impossible!
This has been lost for hundreds of years
The original from Calligrapher wang xi Zi
I sent someone to dig out the Emperor's grave
Spent seven years to get it
This is the best mathematician in history
I travelled all over our country
and did my calculations according to changes in the shadows
I conclude that our land is not flat
It is in a ball shape
The diameter of the ball
from whatever direction
is about 35,000 miles...
This place is small. I don't want to be disturbed
How old do you think he is?
with all his white hair
In his 60s, I suppose
He thinks and does math too much
his hair turns white overnight and he also turns mental
He's only 23
My place is so big and he said it's small
And if the land is in a ball shape
How come we don't fall?
Let's go
Stupid
Look
It's a horse
Stroke the horse
Is it...
This is the legendary Blood.sweating Horse
Ha...very amazing!
But nothing compares to the Pavilion of Ultimate Bliss
You have to take some wushi Powder before you get in though
You gotta have a taste of this ultimate bliss
everything will turn beautiful
Let's drink
I drink again?
Yes, your turn
Don't go
Let me catch you, and you will be dead
Drink with me, come on
Do you know him?
That's Shangguan Shen
He was one of my guests
at my wedding
Shangguan Shen is my guest
I let him in because
he has altogether 127 wives and concubines
Apart from the Emperor His Majesty
he has the most wives and concubines on earth
But...
They aren't good looking at all
Let me make a mark on your neck
The most beautiful woman in the world
Skin fair like icy snow
Demeanour like the autumn water. Bones like jade
A fraction of an inch taller would be too tall. A fraction of an inch shorter would be too short
This is the most discerning connoisseur in the world
She is the walking example of perfect proportion
The flawless exemplar of the word beauty
but I admire her personality most
Mister, I'm terribly sorry
Go to hell!
Miss, please don't!
Stop...
No...
You shouldn't torture her if she has done something wrong
you should just shoot her to death!
Your hand is hurting and she is not dead yet
It doesn't work, okay?
Don't do it next time
Hurry, or else you'll miss it
well, she is not that special...
So beautiful...
Go away, go away...
Go away
Your Highness
Her name is Ruizhu
She's a part of my rare collection
Ruizhu is unique in her sexual tricks
and her ability to boost Yin and Yang energies mutually with a man
She can make any impotent man virile again
And maintain an erection as long as he wants
But she can only serve one man each day
Of course, only those who have my approval can have sex with her
She seems interested in you
I can give my permission if you want to have sex with her
Thank you, your Highness
Hey, hold on, hold on. My permission is granted on conditions
I'm all ears
First, you have to serve me for 10 years, during which time you're on call 24/7
If you agree, I'll let you have a day's slot with Ruizhu
Is that it? That's a deal
I haven't tried even once
Don't rush it. we have a whole day
I'm afraid I can't keep it up the whole day
Don't worry. I'll take care of it
I can't hold back anymore...
Master, weiyangsheng and Ruizhu
aven't been out of the room all day...
They are still doing it
Miss Tie is a well-bred lady of excellent manners and elegance
I chose to hang out in brothels and cold.shoulder my lovely wife
Hereby, we both agree to divorce each other
From now on, each of us is free to get married again
I've made a serious mistake
I'm indebted to her for her innocent love
I really don't have any excuse
That's enough. Put your signature down
But my love for Miss Tie will never change
Cut that crap, bastard!
You have been fooling around among other women all the time
you don't even care if your wife is sick
You are worse than an animal
Yuxiang
this brush
is my favourite and was passed on to me from my ancestors
A broken mirror can be fixed
but I'm afraid a broken brush can't be
I, weiyangshang, have decided that
I shall never paint again
Miss
Miss, your hand...
If the two of you still love each other
why do you divorce him?
It's my fault
I can't satisfy his needs on bed
I will never be able to give him happiness
why doesn't Dong Mei feel the pain?
A certain level of pain
can create a pleasurable feeling like reaching a climax
Is that true?
Try it out and you will know
No thanks
Your Highness
can I take a look at that painting?
Harder!
The stamp is fake
And the inscription that says it is from the Southern Tang Dynasty
is also wrong
Is it worthless then?
How much time is it off from Southern Tang?
It's 300 years off
Congratulations, your Highness
It's priceless
This is an authentic work of Dong Ju
This is the oldest painting on earth
but the antique shop owner doesn't seem to be very knowledgeable
as to put on a fake stamp and inscribed some bullshit on it
Oh... what a twist!
Officially one more rare item to my collection
Good. Come with me
No one can go in except The Prince
Death is the penalty with no exception
It hurts
what should I give you as a reward? what do you want?
There's nothing else I'd ask for
Dongmei
Congratulations, your Highness
Do you know what is pleasure comes through toil?
Coffin, for you
Bird, your favourite
Now what? who's turn?
You have us waiting every time
You dare to discard this one, you are so dead
Hurry up. Don't think too much
If I am not allowed to think, I'd rather not play
which one should I discard?
Discard this one then you have 5 chances to win. Dumbass!
Awesome!
So Big!
I want it so much!
You think she's frigid, right?
But do you know why?
She's not frigid
The problem is you
Mr
How can it be so small?
Hey you! who told you to come this way?
East side is where Miss Tie's room is
You are just a servant
you cannot come over this side
You are fired
I'm so sorry. It's really stupid and I made a terrible mistake. Please, don't fire me!
Dong, he has apologized
It's no big deal
It's your lucky day, son! Now that Miss intercedes for you, I'll let you stay
Don't you forget to thank Miss
Yes
My name is Quan Laoshi and I thank Miss for your mercy
Oh... you don't have to... Stand up please
what are you standing there for?
Go take the coal balls into the storeroom NOW!
Yes. Yes, Sir
He said he is raising money to bury his father
Otherwise I won't even hire him
what a waste to feed you. work now
This money is for him
Some tips
Okay
Come over here
Miss gives you some tip
Thank you...
Make it quick, and hurry!
Yes, I understand
Slow poke, not a smart guy
Just with muscles, but good for nothing
You are late in everything
Take it easy, my friend
How can I? I'm really looking forward to meeting this Elder of Ultimate Bliss!
He has the most mind.blowing sex tricks in the world
Let's go
Shangguan Shen
when are you going to marry your 128th wife?
Your Highness, you are joking
- Your Highness. - You are late.
Sit
Hope you are well
Your Highness
you said that by noon today
that Elder of Ultimate Bliss would show up?
He is not here yet
How dare he comes late to your Highness' party?
As this gentleman is so desperate
why don't you
calm his nerves by drinking with him?
Awesome
Master must be enjoying himself
You have a cute and interesting accessory...
I am the Elder of Ultimate Bliss and my name is Lee Changchun
wow...amazing
You're so ignorant, kid. Don't you know the Elder of Ultimate Bliss
is an androgynous being with extraordinary sex tricks?
I'm so pleased
to have the pleasure to eyewitness that today
My pleasure too, your Highness
As I've kind of overloaded myself a little just now
I'd like to excuse myself first if you don't mind
i need a break at home
Feel free to leave
Your Highness, you are so well endowed to begin with
if you learn his tricks from him
You will do way better
Elder of Ultimate Bliss is a monster
who possesses both male and female genitals
His skills are not something a normal person can learn
You are absolutely right, Your Highness
Let's stop talking and drink
Cheers... Let's go
where are we going?
Just follow me
This way, come over here, let's have more fun
This way, throw it here
Calm down, Ma'am. We don't mean to scare you
we're here for the Elder of Ultimate Bliss
Huh? what did you say?
They have hearing problems. They can't hear you
Master!
Godfather... who are they?
I'm so scared, godfather
Godfather?
Did they call you godfather?
why don't you kids tell these guys how old you are?
I'm 14... I'm 15
I'm 16...
Huh?
They are the leftovers of my treatments
Have you ever heard of boosting the Yang by consuming the Yin?
You're saying they look that old
because you've consumed them?
Yes, I am
Go and play
okay, let's go and play...
Ah.. Master...
So, why did you follow me here?
I had the honour
to see your sex trick this afternoon
I was so amazed
I desperately need to refine my techniques on bed
that's why I want to learn it from you
I hope you can take me as your protege
These sex tricks are strict secrets within our sect and never disclosed to anyone outsiders
I'm afraid I can't teach you
I can give you everything I have
Money is not an issue here
if I learn a couple tricks from you
I will have no regret for my life
I don't mind losing all my wealth
I'd even risk my life for them. Please!
Get up please, mister
You're just too poorly endowed
there's no point teaching you anything at all
Okay, I'll teach you
But on two conditions
Absolutely, I'm all ears
First
you'd have to do one thing for me
I'll let you know
what that is later on
Not a problem
what's the second condition?
Your valet is quite hot. Let me consume him to boost my own energy!
No, master. Don't
Didn't you say you owe me so much?
why don't you sacrifice yourself and pay me back once and for all?
No! please! It's your chance now
we are here to help
No
Do you know what this is?
what?
Ooh... Booty hurts
It really hurts. Someone takes him to my room
Master!
Help! Master! No!
when can we start?
Not so soon! Haven't you ever heard the saying that
“a worker sharpens his tools before he can do his job well?”
Now, you'd have to go find my old friend..
..the medical sage Tianjizi
I'm afraid..
..you have to get a new cock.
Huh? A new cock?
Can't we just take a few of those pills?
The pills still need their clinical trials
there might be some serious side effects
The foundation of our sex tricks is based on studies
from Emperor Huang Di thousands of years ago
Combined with studies from other countries
the root is founded on a unique breathing method
which makes the cock able to lift anything
It will be able to control any woman and gives her extreme pleasure
Lucky! Shut up and go inside!
How can I help you?
My name is Weiyangsheng
The Elder of Ultimate Bliss told me to come here
May I ask if Tianjizi is here?
So you are here for my master? - Yes.
But he's dead..
He's dead?
what are you here for?
I'm his second apprentice, Tiancan
I'm his first apprentice, Dique
Come in first
Come on in
Since The Elder of Ultimate Bliss asked you to come here
let us know how we can help
I want to...
No fucking way. A new cock?
who is getting a new cock?
Is someone going to get a new cock?
Hey, someone wants a new cock
Come quickly and have a look...
Get a new cock? what fucking new cock?
Let me take a look at your cock first
It is like a dead snake
what... you let me look at stuff like these, how can I get hard?
I'll make it quick and clear
From the hardness of it, I can see
this is certainly a level 2
Erectile dysfunction
what?
Erectile dysfunction?
well, level 1 erectile dysfunction
will be just like this piece of tofu
One squish and it's over
what about level 2?
It's not for you
Level 2 erectile dysfunction
Is like this banana without the skin. It's soft
Are you serious? I was just too nervous before
will you get hard if you are touched by a man?
Do you want me to bump you up to level 3?
From a banana without skin
to a banana with skin, how's that?
But it's still erectile dysfunction
well, then what is normal?
Normal?
It should sound like this. This is called normal
Is there any cure?
A super pill?
This pill is passed on from our master's ancestor
It is especially effective for men like you
who are impotence
and help them to be robust again
they can then regain the pleasure of coitus
That's incredible!
Is there any side effect?
It has been clinically tested
by the three of us
we guarantee it works
Oh
That means all the three of you have erectile dysfunction
Bullshit! what are you talking about?
well I mean, since both of you are experts in this area
and are the greatest doctors on earth
what are we waiting for? Please give me one of those pills
You have made the right decision
Of course...
However, it is a pity
what is?
Since this is made from a secret formula from our master
and our master has passed away
what a pity he didn't leave the formula behind
we are afraid that we have to disappoint you
If you don't have it, maybe someone else has it?
Forget about it. It's exclusive
If someone else has it, it must be fake
I sincerely suggest that you make up your mind
to get a new cock
Get a new cock?
we have this book as well
This is an advanced medical handbook
Our master spent so much time
discussing this book with us when he was alive
This cock.swapping thing
has been a topic that the three of us studied for a long time
we surely want to put it into practice
You mean, you've never done one?
we've done it to a dog
And my master did it once for a man before he died
Yes
I guess no one is willing to swap his cock with yours...
Can I swap it with an animal?
Theoretically, that's possible
which animal do you want?
I'm going for the obvious if I'm gonna do it
People say “hung like a horse.” I want a horse cock
Good idea. That's brilliant
Good, a horse cock is a great thing
Horse cock. Are you sure you're capable of doing the surgery?
what?
Are you discriminating against the disabled?
Before the surgery
There are two rules that we have to strictly adhere to
First
The surgery has to be done within the time when an incense stick burns
If we run late
your newly attached cock will be useless
Or, you'd have no cock at all
Second
You cannot have sex in one month
otherwise, it'd really be useless
Now drink this anaesthetic
you won't feel the pain after that
Relax
look around and don't focus here
It will soon be done
Okay
It's cut
Don't feel it? Don't feel it, right?
wipe the sweat
Hey, what the hell?
By the way, how did your master die?
Oh, he failed the cock.swapping operation
And was killed by the patient
we're physically challenged but so what?
we do our job well
we are not worse than any healthy person
Oh
The cock is squished
what?
Do you think we can still swap it?
we're such cockheads, aren't we?
No worries, we still got time
why don't we put your own cock back on?
At least you have something
That's the only way. Let's do it
Hey, no...
Don't eat my cock!
Lucky! Hey, where are you going?
No, Lucky! Don't!
Go get him!
Open its mouth!
Grab that baby sausage!
But I need an extra hand for that
Extra hand?
Use you mouth! Your mouth!
Use my mouth?
Hurry up!
Got it! I got it back!
But it's just this much left
Are you sure you still want it?
what?
Gee, we're running out of time
Either of you can give me your cock!
It won't work even if I am willing to
If I am willing to give up my cock
I don't have hands to do the operation
If I give up my cock
no one can run errands for me
we don't have enough time. That's right
Don't tell me it's my fate that
I have no cock
Hey, hold it!
Is your donkey a male?
The donkey, hey! Hey, where are you going?
If it is male, we will buy it no matter how much
we can repay what we owe you
Though we lost the horse cock, but we will pay you back with a donkey's
Drown her! She deserves it!
This is Master Tie's daughter
Drag her out of water. whore!
Drown her to death!
You whore, you seduced a servant in the house...
whore! which induced your father's death
You tramp! Say your last words before being executed
I have nothing to say
Okay then
Drown her again. Throw her into the water
Stop! Stop it! Hold it there
I raped her
Quan Laoshi, did you say you raped her?
Rape is a serious crime. Don't admit it if you haven't done it
That's right. Rape is a very serious crime
Now listen! I DID rape her
You're the rapist and you'd get drowned with her. Get him!
Come on guys, go get him! Laoshi, run!
Get him. Hold him tight!
Quan, I believe what you said
For a powerful martial artist like you
to rape a flimsy lady
will be so easy
This is so evident that you did it
Enough said. Let's go
Go? Yes... I tell you to go
Mayor, you have something on your...
Take care, Mayor, take care!
Shall I get paid now?
Miss Tie
Quan is selling you to me
Are you okay with it?
Help! This is really huge!
This is unbelievable
He's got guts. He really got his cock swapped
Yes, he is my idol now
Come...
Tell Dongmei to come over. Yes, master
I want to have sex with 10 women at the same time
Come, come altogether, come
I want it... Master wei, take me
Master is taking a rest inside. Miss!
You can't go in
You saved my life
just because you want to sleep with me, right?
Now, please make it quick
You guys leave the room now
I want you to know
everything I did for you was out of love
I never force any person into doing anything
this is my principal
All my concubines
come here of their own accord
So, I want you to love me willingly
If you want me to live with you willingly
I have one condition
I can only accept
monogamous love
I will give every one of you 3,000 teals of silver
That should be enough
You get to keep all jewellery I gave you
I don't want the money
I just want to stay with you
we will not go
why are you driving us out? Don't send us away
Please...
This is the only condition on which Yuxiang will stay and live with me
I'd rather die than live away from you
Stop. All of you don't have to go
I'm actually asking them to go just now...
I think we better...
why are you still standing here?
Come join me in serving our husband
Understand
Yes
we are here for you
Yuxiang
Yuxiang...
Yuxiang
Are you awake? Master, it's you...
Hey, old man
Do you want to scare me to death?
Master, it's me...
It's me
It's Chow Dong
Are you really being
tortured so badly?
Cut the crap. Come over here
Do you still remember that
You promised me to do one thing for me?
Yes, I do
I want you to steal
the precious metal plate that the First Emperor of Ming
gave to the ancestor of Prince of Ning
why?
Over the last couple of years, I disguise myself as a woman
and sneak into senior officials' residences to fool around with their kids
Now I am a wanted person
only this metal plate can help me
Metal plate...is it the one
that people call it “The Golden Plate of Death Avoidance”?
Hmm...
So...how do I steal it?
where does The Prince
hide his most precious items?
(what luck that they are all drunk...)
(wow, what arrogance to keep the key around his dick!)
(Shit! It's fucking stuck!)
(Haha, can't believe it works!)
How dare you! Stealing my metal plate?
I...
Shut up!
Your Highness
weiyangshang has a habit of stealing
This time you are caught at the scene
It's all bullshit!
Did I say something wrong?
Don't you remember
How you snapped Yuxiang off me?
You really thought that I don't hold any grudges?
You two...
Yes
we set you up
How dare you offend the Prince of Ning!
when did I offend the Prince of Ning? You didn't?
when you talked behind my back
with that stupid monk in Amarus Bamboo Temple
Just like the Prince of Ning
who leads a hideously luxurious life
He will have his retribution soon
How can you compare a scumbag like him
to a sophisticated scholar like me?
Don't worry. I am a fair person
after I take care of you
I'll take care of that monk
You will take revenge on Monk Budai? Please don't!
Take care of your own self first
This guy is called Quan Laoshi
He is the flying dagger expert at the Tower
I sent him to the Tie Mansion
to rape your wife
which induced your father-in-law's death of a heart attack
And guess what? Your lovely wife is now Shangguan's concubine
Just because of my small talks
You want to take revenge on me like this
and on my wife? Shut up!
You join with other scholars
and write letters to the Emperor to criticize me
You're just a bastard who brings sufferings to the people of this country
I am not afraid of death if I can do some good to the people
Shut up!
I am a scholar. I will not be threatened by brute force
Death is not a big deal...
Mother Fucker! Scholar?
A scholar who just fucks women everyday
and reports me to the Emperor after fucking?
If death is no big deal then shut up!
what a loser!
Just kill me, you bastard!
Do you know how much I spent
To fix the mess you made
Lock him up! Yes
More suffering is waiting for you, loser
walk... get up
You have to teach me your secret sex tricks
I need to learn how to give Dongmei ten orgasms in a row
I'll let you go if you can do that
Su... sure!
As long as your Highness spare my life
I've offered to teach you before, but you said you're not interested
I still want to have my own children
... well... that's kind of tough
Tell the government
that we found someone on the wanted list here
Hold on, hold on! Your Highness
I heard what you say... You want the tricks but not have any offspring
That should be fine
I will figure it out
when you came here you held tight onto this brush
I know it must be very important to you
I got it repaired
Thank you so much for your care
I'll have to return the favour in my next life
Yuxiang bids farewell...
Yuxiang...
If anything can possibly be done to save your ex.husband
I have done it already
You are just sacrificing for nothing
If I can die with him
together on the same day
I have no regret
Please wait here
Your Highness
This is Yuxiang, the wife of weiyangshang
Your Highness
Your Highness, where is my husband?
Come and take a look then you will know
I admire his courage to do this to himself
Otherwise, when the worms reach his bone
He will die for sure
Your Highness, I beg you
please give him treatment
I beg you... why would I do that?
If you can help him
I'd do whatever you want me to
Please save my husband
As soon as I take this pill
I'd have an erection that lasts for 49 days and nights?
Perfectly safe?
Yes, Perfectly safe
You take one first!
Shit!
Dong Mei, ask Dong Mei to come
Hurry up, ask Dong Mei to come
Right now!
Dong Mei!
Sir... please...
I am just an official to the Emperor
I'm sorry that I'm unable to help
hmm... I understand...
Bring the treasure that is passed on to me by my ancestors
Yes, master
Open the lock. - Yes Sir.
Okay. Go now. - Yes.
You're still alive? The Prince wants to see you
Although I had snatched your love from you
you have also separated my wife and I
Now I may be handicapped for the rest of my life
Are you still angry?
well...
we are square now
Okay. Maybe I've done wrong
but Monk Budai is in his Buddhist practice for 50 years
He is absolutely innocent
I know you since six years old
and we have twenty years of friendship
Can I beg you to do one thing for me?
Please go to see Monk Budai and warn him
that The Prince is going to take revenge on him
I beg you, please do me this flavour
Look carefully!
How do you want to torture me now?
Let you see something
This horse is fun to play with
If you play with its tail
The iron lotus above it
will open and close
Stop!
Your Highness, it's my fault, I deserve it
Can you punish me and let her go?
She comes and begs me to save you
now you want me to let her go
Are you two joining together to fool me around
If you can let her go, I can do anything!
If you want to kill me, that's fine!
I don't want to kill you
well, let's chop it off!
If you are willing to chop your penis off, I'll let your wife go!
No problem, chop it off!
You're willing to chop your penis off?
Okay, I want to see how you can be a man from now on
Go and catch Tiancan and Dique
Old monster
do you know why I keep you alive?
Your Highness thinks I am still useful. I will do anything you ask...
Ruizhu
You dare to feed me with some random pills
I have poisonous pills too
This pill that you have taken will give you half day's life
If you don't have my medication in 12 hours
You will bleed from seven holes and explode before you die
You need to go to The Amarus Bamboo Temple with Rizhu
and use your exclusive
sexual arousing incense
to help Ruizhu to seduce the goddemn Monk Budai
If you finish your mission
And come back within half day
I might give you medicine
what if...
You talk again I will kill you right away. Go now!
Don't push. I can walk
Hurry up
Are you blind? Can't you see that I am disabled?
where are you going? we are putting up a great show now
I...
Get out!
Hurry out!
Stay and see how I fool the two of them around
I guarantee you'll feel delighted
Save Monk Budai. Save him
kneel
Save Monk Budai. Save him
Stuff his mouth
Save Monk Budai. Save...
You have a great cock that you can fuck 10 women at the same time, right?
Now I want your woman to see your cock being chopped
Take Yuxiang here!
The Royal Guards are here
How is the Emperor?
Your Highness. The Emperor is doing great
we came from the Capital without stopping
To carry out this order
we can go now
Your Highness, please
Look. My dear
My dear
what a sweet couple in love
I want to hear
what you havr to say to each other from your heart
I've divorced you
why do you come here to risk your life?
After you left
I found that I cannot live without you
But now you are risking your life
for nothing
My dear, that's fine
If I die with you at the same time, I am satisfied
Me too...
My sweatheart... My dear...
Very touching...
I am about to cry...
Cuff them
Are you ready?
Your Highness, we're almost ready
but...
although we are not great doctors
we still have a kind heart
we consider saving lives our duty
The true love between them awakes our consciousness
to separate a loving couple
or to hurt someone's lower body
to destroy their lives?
we won't do it
The second commandment of our school of teaching is
that whoever uses his knowledge to do evil
he is disrespectful to his master
He will be punished. He will be hit by five thunders
So to say, we can lose our life and shed our blood
we cannot change our code of standard!
People like us are just stubborn!
Just plain stubborn!
Yeah!
well, life is ...
Also the art of compromising
Your Highness, how do you want it chopped?
Slice it or cut into strips?
So you can disregard the commandments from your master?
The first commandment is
“the knowledge must pass on”
If the first commandment
is in conflict with the second
the first has priority
The two of us are the only remaining students
so we must not die
Let's make it quick. where do you want to cut?
Let's go
You must keep him alive
I ask you guys to do it because I don't want him to die so quick
I still want to play with him!
Yes
what's the matter?
You two go and take a look
Yes
It's fine, Your Highness. I... I just need a rest
I'll be okay
Okay
Are you okay?
You can go back. I am fine
Go, go... Yes
who are you? How dare you come here without permission?
we have the Emperor's order to arrest The Prince of Ning
Put down your weapons, or else, you'll be killed
Your husband is about to lose his cock
He cannot have sex with you for the rest for his life
Yuxiang, I am so sorry to you...
Cut it
Bite it tight
My dear husband, even if we cannot make love anymore
It is not important
As long as I know that
you love me
And that's the greatest satisfaction
They can kill us
but they cannot separate our hearts
My dear husband, I love you!
Abbot!
who is it?
My master is weiyangshang
He sent me here to bring some Buddha books to you
Your master has a kind heart
Please tell him I am very thankful
Not a problem. Abbot, I am leaving now
what's the matter...
Are you okay?
So... is it okay
...to let Yuxiang go...
Let her go?
I am a man of my word
I haven't played enough of her
Let her go! You bastard!
This is an iron chastity belt
made by the first Jin Emperor
In the world, except with this key in my hand
no one can open it
I'm going to put the belt on her
From now on, she is unable to have sex for the rest of her life
No one can even touch her
you are an animal! Scumbag!
Go away, loser
Since you don't have your cock anymore
I'll fuck her well for you
I'll kill you
I am going to fuck her now
Stop!
Tianchan
Go
You really piss us off
Stop
Dique
Disabled but not useless
Both of us are disabled for our life
You are different. You will get punished
Punished?
Retribution?
who dares to stop me anymore!
I am going to fuck your wife now!
That's odd. You don't seem sick from your pulses
But... Venerable Sir
It really hurts in my stomach
Now you're in such pain, I have to get someone to help you...
You don't have to get help
In fact, I've had this weird sickness ever since I was a child
On the first day of every month, and whenever there's a full moon
my stomach hurts like hell inexplicably
How can there be such a weird sickness in this world!
But my pain will go away if Venerable Sir would help me
If you warms my tummy up with yours
the pain will be alleviated
Huh? I've never heard of such treatment all my life
Never
Venerable Sir, just like this
Yes, just like this
If you are feeling better, you can get up now
Not so soon, Venerable Sir
Just hang in there for a bit longer. I'm gonna be okay soon
Could you please?
what?
where did the flying dagger come from?
No, please get up
why are you taking off your clothes?
You are a woman!
Excuse me. what are you doing? Are you blind?
That's so rude. Excuse me
Help!
what are you doing?
Stop, please stop. You...
what are you doing?
Get away from me
Form is emptiness, emptiness is form...
He threw the flying daggers. Catch him
Run...
I fed your wife so well
I will kill you!
She is not that much fun
Put the chastity belt on
Form is emptiness, emptiness is form...
Namo Amitabha
Form is emptiness, emptiness is form...
Abbot, are you all empty now?
Namo Amitabha
Form is emptiness, emptiness is form...
Namo Amitabha
You won't be able to open it for the rest of your life
My dear wife
do you still remember?
A picture comes to life with the artist's exquisite strokes
The most wonderful moment of my life
Is the day when I first met you
I've been with many women
Every night I sleep on human praying mat
what I've learnt is
that physical pleasure is not real joy
Real love is the most valuable
My sweetheart
My dear
Your Highness
The Emperor has sent his Royal Guard
to arrest you
They said you are helping a wanted man to hide
Your Highness, please leave now!
Fine, you go first!
Thank you, Your Highness...
See who still wants to go!
Go
Trip me?
Abbot...
The Abbot killed himself for some reason!
Abbot!
My 50 years of Buddhist practice and prayer are all ruined in one night
I can't rest in peace
Abbot...
Abbot died because of the two people who were just here
Even Buddha is angry this time!
Catch him! Yes!
Go!
Abbot ... Abbot... Abbot...
Catch him! Catch him!
Chop me?
You will never have the chance in your life
Don't go. Stand Still. Stop there
Don't go. Stand Still
Stand Still
Stop there. keep chasing!
Stand still. They are here!
Don't let them go
Are you okay?
Stand Still
Catch them
Don't go
Stop
we cannot let them go
Chase him
Catch them ...
Don't go, you!
Stop there. Don't think you can go
Stand still. what?
what's going on? what is it?
weiyangshang, you are my friend
why did you bad.mouth me?
And criticized me in front of the emperor?
why are you laughing?
what are you laughing at?
I will kill your wife now
The Emperor's order is to arrest The Prince of Ning
Yuxiang...
Did you see this? The Metal Plate!
who dares to arrest me?
kneel down now, or I will kill his whole family!
Chief Official?
Even with the Emperor's order, what can you do?
Traitor
I am killing him in front of you
Please find a way to help...
I am just a government official. I can't help...
I am going to kill you now
You shot me?!
Fuck, how could you miss?!
I will chop your penis off!
Arrest them all. Yes
My sweetheart
My dear husband
My dear husband... My dear husband
My dear husband
First bow
Second bow, third bow
Please drink tea
After drinking this tea, you are blessed with fortune. Congratulations, congratulations
This couple are in their 90s
they have been happily married for decades
They come here to give you blessings
Mr. and Mrs. Good Fortune
Greetings
Good
I will give you a red packet later on
May I ask
how can you stay in love for decades
Because I love her dearly
But, from what I can see
I dare say you haven't had sex for a long time
If you don't make, you won't have love, right?
Chastity belt?
when we were your age
we were unable to do it already
My dear, there are so many people here
That's embarrassing
...ill...
Young man, it doesn't matter if you can do it or not
you will understand as time goes by
Let's take a walk
Okay
Fuck, what nonsense. How werid